Approval, Control, and Security are identified in 📝The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership as three core 📝egoic needs that often drive human behavior when individuals are “📝Below the Line,” meaning they are operating from 📝fear or defensiveness. These needs are framed as fundamental motivations that can keep leaders reactive and locked in unproductive patterns. Approval refers to the desire for validation and positive perception, control involves influencing or directing outcomes to reduce uncertainty, and security relates to seeking safety, stability, and predictability, often in financial, relational, or physical domains. According to the authors, these motivations are not inherently negative but become limiting when pursued unconsciously, leading to behaviors such as blame, defensiveness, or avoidance. The framework emphasizes that recognizing these needs enables a shift “📝Above the Line” into curiosity, responsibility, and presence, allowing for more authentic connection and creativity. This concept is presented as a practical tool for leadership development, highlighting the value of 📝Self-awareness in managing core psychological drivers.
- Approval is the desire to be liked, validated, or seen in a positive light.
- Control is the need to manage, direct, or influence outcomes and people to reduce uncertainty.
- Security is the craving for safety, stability, and predictability—often tied to financial, relational, or physical well-being.
When we unconsciously pursue these needs, the book suggests we engage in “drama” patterns like blame, defensiveness, or avoidance. The conscious leadership shift is about noticing when these needs are running the show and then choosing curiosity, responsibility, and presence instead. The authors emphasize that these needs aren’t “bad” in themselves—everyone has them—but unconscious attachment to them limits creativity, openness, and authentic connection. By recognizing them, leaders can step “above the line” and act from commitment rather than fear.
Here’s the verbatim excerpt from The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership that describes the concept:
“When we are below the line, we are always trying to get one or more of three things: approval, control, or security. We want people to like us and see us in a certain way (approval). We want to be able to influence or determine what is happening (control). We want to feel safe and secure, whether that’s financially, physically, or emotionally (security). These motivations are not bad; they are part of being human. The problem is when we are unconscious about them—they run us, rather than us choosing consciously. Recognizing when we’re seeking approval, control, or security is the first step to shifting above the line.”
I recognize moments when I’m chasing approval, control, or security without realizing it, and those are usually the times I feel most stuck. Noticing them early has become a quiet but powerful way of redirecting my attention toward curiosity and choice.